I haven't updated lately because, despite the goings-on in San Diego (you know, the fires and all that), I really have little else to talk about. Hmmm. Once again my life seems to have been reduced to Work/Mommyhood. And - I have a separate blog to talk about my little one, so I guess that leaves work. Except I don't really want to talk about work, because it has been rather boring and uninspired. So....BLEAH.

Instead, I will update by bulletpoints...I always feel less pressure to be clever that way:

• The fires were scary, but we never had to evacuate as our neighborhood was never really threatened. Still, I had our bags packed and ready to go for several days before finally unpacking everything this last weekend. I was definitely nervous, though. Thank god it is pretty much over.
• Halloween was super-fun! I didn't dress up as anything, but my daughter did, and we went trick-or-treating for the first time together. It was a BLAST. Nothing like escorting a two-year-old on her first trick-or-treating jaunt to make Halloween fun all over again!
• My hubby and I have been getting along fabulously. Not that we weren't before, but we are especially in sync these days. For one, the sex has been mighty frequent, which I actually don't mind, crazy enough. I think the thing that helps is that we convene every evening in our garden, which has a lovely pergola...and we sit there, share a cigarette or two, sip a beverage, and just talk. For about an hour or so. It has been so lovely.
• My current online obsessions are: Swaptree, Yelp, and of course, Facebook.  So sue me.
• My other obsession is of a culinary nature: I have been making tons of Passion Fruit Jam and Passion Fruit Syrup.  I am addicted to making these concoctions, and they are just divinely delicious.  My hubby loves it when I do this because I think it reminds him of the kind of girls he grew up with, all Midwestern and traditional.  Well, sorry buddy, the similarity ends there.
• Still loving Journeyman, still watching Heroes, still refusing to get sucked into Friday Night Lights even though it is my hubby's favorite show and one of our friends is on it.  Oh well.  Maybe I'll just get the 1st season DVD and catch up that way.
• I just finished the book, "He's Just Not That Into You", and all I have to say is, I CONCUR.  I would have loved to have read this book in my teens and twenties.  Would have saved me a lot of grief.  But maybe I just wasn't ready to read it then...?  I don't know.  It's pretty funny, though.  I think it's mostly common sense, but women just get too ridiculous when it comes to guys sometimes, and it's refreshing to read a book that actually calls us on our shit.
• To direct or not to direct a reading of The Madwoman of Chaillot....that is my current question.

And that is all for now.  Oh, and totally random thought of the day:  who knew that dancer Blake McGrath could SING???  And he's good too!  Some people are just too talented for their own good.

The following is taken from SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE Season 1 Winner Nick Lazzarini's MySpace page:

sytycd 3

hmmmmm....so i just watched the show all the way through and i have some mixed thoughts. mandys piece was amazing. loved it but the rest of the show choreography wise didnt impress me. neither did the other dancers besides sabra and neil. i thought sabras solo was amazing and for the first time i really thought neil looked like an artist. i was so impressed with him. what was pasha doing???? hes such an amazing ballroom dancer and he came out and did comtemporary??? random right. he needs to stick to his thing which got him this far cuz hes brilliant at it. i like lauren but come on over jaimie??? its a shame shes not still here cuz then we would have a real competition with her danny and sabra!!! that wouldve been dope. alrighty here it comes... due to popular demand im going to post my thoughts on lacey. i honestly was disgusted by her solo tonight. her dress was completely up her butt, she was touching herself every 3 seconds, she ended straddled on the floor, and looked trashy. i understand that shes a "good" performer but lets call a spade a spade the only reason shes on the show is cuz shes benjis sister. sorry its true. there are way more talented girl ballroom dancers in the world and she just happens to be from the blessed family i guess. there i said it. hate me if u want but its my opinion and everyone is entitled to it. just like last year travis should have won over benji. i understand its about americas "favorite dancer" but as a dancer i look at whos best and thats DANNY FRIGGEN TIDWELL!!! ok enough of my babble. just had to share some thoughts ttyl peeps!

Wow.  This is completely mind-blowing, for several reasons.  The first one being: as a C-level public figure, isn't someone monitoring what he puts out in public?  No?  I guess he's not famous enough, or something??  Because I can tell you, if his agent got wind of this she would probably be mortified.  Not enough to do anything, obviously, but nothing screams EGO like a incoherent, badly-spelled, grammatically incorrect rant on a personal webpage.  Nothing looks quite as dumb, either.  But he has a right to an opinion, and a right to express his opinion, so there you have it.  GENIUS.

The second thing is: Nick should know, at least on some level, that the reason why he won over Blake McGrath, who is ultimately a better technical dancer than he was (I'm sorry, but 8 pirouettes don't automatically equal great technique), was because he was more likeable of the two.  In my opinion, Blake lost the competition when he bad-mouthed Dan Karaty early in the season.  Meanwhile, here's happy-go-lucky Nick whoopin' it up with his best friend Melody!  Being a kook!  What a nice guy!  You're telling me that the competition is ultimately about the "best" dancer??  Well, Nick, if you think that then you shouldn't have won.  Period.

Third!  This competition is a personality contest first, a versatility contest second, and a dance contest third.  Versatility is KEY, especially when it comes to partnering with people whose style is not your own.  This is the reason why Pasha has made it through this far, and why Benji ultimately stole the competition from Travis Wall.  Travis is a better dancer, CLEARLY, but Benji had the edge in two areas: likeability and partnering.  And the partnering is soooo important since it takes up about 80% of the actual dancing on the show.  Solos are important too, but you have to remember that by the time the dancers are performing their solos, they've already established their fan base by dancing in pairs.  So, in terms of versatility, the ability to do ballroom, latin, contemporary, jazz...all these are served better if you are working well with your partner, given that a lot of "tricks" will be done via lifts and assisted turns, etc.  

This is all a long way of saying: Danny Tidwell is an amazing dancer; he is NO JOKE; but he is a solo dancer through and through, and his propensity for being "solo" has seemingly translated on the screen to being pompous, or arrogant.  I don't know if that's really what he's like in real life, but that's how he reads as a person.  He's the best dancer on the show, technically speaking, but I don't believe he's America's favorite.  Therefore, I don't think he will win, and furthermore, I'm not sure he should win.

Here's what I want to tell Nick:  Nick - have some class.  Understand the monster that is the TV show who gave you your profile.  It's NOT JUST ABOUT DANCE.  It's about a whole host of other things, things I've tried to cover here but ultimately are way too complicated and dense for you, and most people, to wrap their head around.  There is the idea of artistic competition - and this is a debate that goes WAY back - and there is the idea of reality television.  Compound those two behemoth problems with issues like advertising and mainstream culture and Westernized tastes...well, it's not just about the dancing.  

So THINK before you speak.  RESPECT your fellow artists.  Don't be so quick to throw unnecessary judgments like dancers "looking trashy" and coming from a "blessed family" - it makes you sound like a moron.  It does nothing but uphold the stereotype that artists are just headcases who can't articulate their thoughts properly.

The truth is a powerful thing, and you are certainly entitled to your own truth.  But wield it with respect, and with wisdom.  Artists are a delicate breed, and you yourself are one of them.  Share your critique, but remember that they are members of your community, and therefore they are part of the same family.

Oh, and GROW THE FUCK UP.

I've been gone the last few weeks because of a project that I've been preparing for since last year...and finally, last week, all my work went into action. And it was GREAT.

Let me explain. It's probably not difficult to figure out where and who I work for, based on previous entries. My boss, who I've mentioned before, is a pretty well-known theatre guy, and if one were to try to gauge his success as an artist, all you would need to do is watch one of his shows to see that he's the real thing. He's just a force to be reckoned with. And an amazing person to boot. So, you see, working for him and with him has provided me with some of the greatest professional experiences I've had thus far.

So last week, we hosted our first Directors Lab, named for and conducted by said boss, which was essentially a week-long seminar for early-career directors. A directing boot camp, if you will. And guess who got to coordinate and manipulate the project details? Uh-huh. ME.

I try not to talk too much about my work, and it is pretty self-indulgent of me to discuss my career on a public forum. I realize that. But I wanted to share this because I often wonder if being a working mother is worth the sacrifice of not being with my child on a day-to-day basis. This is a complicated question, and one that I can't fully address right now, but I think writing about my job reminds me and others that one's work outside the home can be both worthy and rewarding, and can therefore nurture a person in a way that enriches the experience of being a parent. And as unbelievably cheesy as that sounds - I truly believe that.

Anyway, the Lab was a huge success, with some minor flubs along the way, but nothing I couldn't fix. It has partially addressed an ongoing issue I have with my career; questions such as, "How do I want to spend the rest of my professional life?", which is actually just a better-articulated way of saying, "What do I want to be when I grow up?" I realized, halfway into the Lab, that I was very much in the right place at the right time, that even though my career has not (and probably will not) seen high monetary rewards, I have found an unusual path that has been remarkably well-suited to my strengths, passions, and interests. Certainly, at some point the monetary issue may become more important, but for now, I find myself very lucky to be in a place that both serves me, and provides an opportunity for me to serve. Last week's Lab confirmed this to me in many ways.

It's interesting, really, because I find that the idea of "success" very dangerous and intriguing at the same time, and what is so strangely limiting about success is that it is actually conceived as a result, and therefore, implies an kind of end to a journey, or a conclusion.

Which, frankly, is ridiculous - when does that journey actually end, after all?

My guess is, success comes in those rare moments of synchronicity...feeling like you did good. For me, last week was all about that. And hopefully it was just another stop on the way up.

I am still reeling from yesterday's events at Virginia Tech. I am so far removed from it, but somehow, as a mother you can't help but feel deep, deep sorrow for those families that lost loved ones in the massacre. I don't quite understand how these things happen. Truth be told, I don't know how anyone recovers from a tragedy like this.

(moment of silence)